By Pastor Greg
Everybody
on earth dies and goes to heaven. God comes and says, "I want the men to
make two lines. I want one line for the men who were leaders in their home and
another for the men who allowed their wives to boss them around. Also, I want
all the women to come with Me." God takes the women away while the men
begin to form the two lines. When He
returns, God discovers that there are now two lines of men. The line of the men
that were bossed around was 100 miles long while in the line of men who took
leadership responsibility, there was only one man. God got angry and said. "You men should
be ashamed of yourselves. I created you
in my image, but you refused to be a leader.
Shame on you for allowing your wife to boss you around like that. Look
at the only one of my sons that stood up and made me proud, Learn from
him!" Tell them, my son, how did you
manage to be the only one in that line? The
man said, "I don't know. My wife told me to stand here.”
I’m sorry. I had to be honest, brutally honest. I know we don’t like it, but this is simply
the way things are. I know that God
designed marriage and relationships to be holy, but sin has created something
different – something far less than God originally intended. The same can be
said about human sexuality. God created
plants, animals, and humans with the ability to reproduce. This is the meaning of the text “Be fruitful and multiply. Fill the earth and govern it”
(Genesis 1:28). Unfortunately, sin has
taken this ability to reproduce and turned it into something dirty and
cheap. Sadly, when we think about human
sexuality, we tend to think of what sin has created, not what God has designed.
Human sexuality from a biblical
perspective is something natural and beautiful.
In humans, sexuality goes way
beyond the bounds of mere physical pleasure.
It connects two persons in a way
that nothing else can. A spiritual and
emotional bonding takes place that transcends the physical connection. However, sin has taken the sexual relationship
between humans and turned it into a commodity.
Human sexuality has become so cheap – so conventional – that it is used
as a marketing ploy. I fail to realize
why it is necessary to place a nearly
naked woman on an ad selling a fishing boat.
It makes no sense to me, but I realize why it is done. A woman in a string bikini will catch a man’s
attention and make them look long and hard at the ad. Sex sells things; it’s that plain and
simple. This is what sin has done to
human sexuality.
Sin has also taken human sexuality
and divorced it from marriage. In God’s
original plan, sexuality was something to be expressed within the bounds of marriage.
However, that kind of thinking seems archaic today. Today many people feel their sexuality is
something they can express in any way they see fit and with any willing person. Many people disregard God’s boundaries for
sex and instead plunge headlong down a cliff, driven by sensuality and desire.
Although the Bible does not
mention the exact words, “sex before marriage,” the idea is expressed quite
clearly in 1 Corinthians 7. “Now regarding the
questions you asked in your letter. Yes, it is good to abstain from sexual relations.
2 But because there is so much sexual immorality, each man
should have his own wife, and each woman should have her own husband. 3 The
husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her
husband’s needs. 4 The wife gives authority over her body to
her husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife. 5 Do not deprive each other
of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for
a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward,
you should come together again so that Satan won’t be able to tempt you because
of your lack of self-control” (1 Corinthians 7:1-5).
Sex was openly expressed in the
City of Corinth. It was one of the most
promiscuous cities in the Roman Empire.
Even within the church, sexual freedom was a big problem. One man was sleeping with his stepmother
(Romans 5:1). Some within the Corinthian
Church didn’t even see this as a problem.
As long as they loved one another, what’s the big deal? Paul says quite clearly that for a believer to express their sexuality in a
godly way, it must be done between a husband and a wife. He tells the widows and the unmarried that if
they cannot control their sexual desires, “they should go ahead and marry. It’s better to marry than to
burn with lust” (1 Corinthians 7:9).
He doesn’t say, go out and hook up with someone. He says, GET MARRIED – a very clear
indication that Christians have no business having sex outside of marriage.
Paul has taught us clearly that
sex out of wedlock is wrong. It does not follow God’s ordained model of marriage.
If that is true, then why do so many individuals struggle with keeping
themselves holy and pure? Jesus says
that the problem begins in the mind. “Anyone who even
looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart”
(Matthew 5:28). We read story after
story where good and godly people destroy themselves by having a sexual
affair. We are shocked that it could
happen. However, that affair did not
“just” happen. It began when that person
permitted thoughts to take them captive.
They ignored God’s boundaries and instead fed their desires through
their thoughts and their imaginations.
The “affair” began when they first started feeding the flesh through
their eyes – the things they noticed and watched. Sexual immorality begins in the mind of a
person who disregards God’s boundaries.
“Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly
affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your
own body” (1 Corinthians 6:18).
According to Paul, sex outside the boundaries of marriage is a sin
against God, against the other person, and against ourselves. There are physical problems that could
develop, and psychological issues that will arise as well. I could dwell on these, but for now, let’s
assume you want to remain sexually pure.
You want to bring your sex life into submission. How can we keep our hormones and our desires
from driving us off a cliff? What do we
do? It begins by obeying God’s
boundaries.
Like a winding mountain road, God
has placed “guard rails” around human
sexuality not to constrain us, but to protect us. On the one side is Truth, and on the other is
the Spirit. The one instructs us what
“love” truly is, and the other grants us a choice to follow God or follow sin.
The Spirit is given to each
believer who then provides us with a choice.
We can chose to allow the Spirit to control us rather than following our
sinful human desires. “Do not let sin
control the way you live; do not give in to sinful desires. 13 Do
not let any part of your body become an instrument of evil to serve sin.
Instead, give yourselves completely to God, for you were dead, but now you have
new life. So use your whole body as an instrument to do what is right for the
glory of God. 14 Sin is no longer your master”
(Romans 6:12-14). As a devoted follower
of Christ, we make a choice to follow the Lord, not our sinful nature. Develop your relationship with the Lord, and
you will find the Spirit guiding and strengthening you.
The Truth teaches us God’s model
of love. To love according to God’s
Truth, we move from selfish desires to selflessness. Sin has taught us to view love with greedy eyes.
We say, “I love you,” meaning, “I
love the way you make me feel.” Sin has diminished love to be nothing more than a reaction to stimulation. However, biblical love is an action someone
chooses to make. Biblical love gives,
not takes. When we are guided by
biblical love, our sexuality is restrained because we take a moment to consider
how our actions might affect the other person.
We consider the other person to be valuable and significant. We ask
ourselves, “How might our ten minutes of passion affect this other person?” In biblical love, our hearts are fixed on the
other person and their relationship with God, not our passions and desires.
These two boundaries grow stronger
and stronger when we become submitted to the Lord and obedient to God’s Spirit
within us. When we allow the Holy Spirit
to conform us and to transform our minds, He helps us take control of those
sexual passions and desires that are motivated by our sinful nature. However, sometimes we do make mistakes. Sometimes the flesh is stronger than the Spirit
is, and we mess up. We make sexual
mistakes. What then? What happens when we express our sexuality
outside of God’s boundaries? The correct
thing to do is admit to God that you sinned. Go to Him and ask for His forgiveness. You will find that He is quick to offer
forgiveness and grace. John the Apostle
assures us that “if
anyone does sin, we have an advocate who pleads our case before the Father. He
is Jesus Christ, the one who is truly
righteous. 2 He himself
is the sacrifice that atones for our sins” (I John 2:1-2). So I don’t want you to leave here
discouraged. I want you to leave here
knowing these two things. I want you to
know what God has said about the proper expression of our sexuality. I also want you to know what God has said
about Grace. Strive to live according to
that truth, and receive forgiveness when you fail.
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