When a Marriage Fails - September 27, 2015 sermon

By Pastor Greg

Two guys were talking at lunch one day.  One fella told his friend that he and his wife had a serious argument the night before.  "But it ended," he said, "when she came crawling to me on her hands and knees.” "What did she say?" asked the friend.  "She said, 'Come out from under that bed, you coward!”

We laugh, but sadly, fights like these can lead to divorce.  Actually, now that I think about it, marriages end up in divorce for a whole lot less.  Even in biblical times, people were getting divorced just because they could not get along.  The people of Israel treated marriage like something cheap and worthless.  When a husband discovered something wrong with his wife, he simply sent her away.  He kicked her out of the tent.  She had done nothing to deserve this.  She was innocent.  That’s why Moses said, “Suppose a man marries a woman but she does not please him. Having discovered something wrong with her, he writes her a letter of divorce, hands it to her, and sends her away from his house.  When she leaves his house, she is free to marry another man” (Deuteronomy 24:1-2). He insisted she be sent away with a certificate of innocence.  She could prove to her next husband that she had done nothing wrong.  

This was still happening in New Testament times, which is why Jesus speaks so boldly about divorce and remarriage.  He says, “Moses permitted divorce only as a concession to your hard hearts, but it was not what God had originally intended.  And I tell you this, whoever divorces his wife and marries someone else commits adultery—unless his wife has been unfaithful” (Matthew 19:8-9).

In Malachi chapter two, God says that divorce even affects our ability to worship.  ¹³ Here is another thing you do. You cover the Lord’s altar with tears, weeping and groaning because he pays no attention to your offerings and doesn’t accept them with pleasure. ¹⁴ You cry out, “Why doesn’t the Lord accept my worship?” I’ll tell you why! Because the Lord witnessed the vows you and your wife made when you were young. But you have been unfaithful to her, though she remained your faithful partner, the wife of your marriage vows. ¹⁵ Didn’t the Lord make you one with your wife? In body and spirit you are his. And what does he want? Godly children from your union. So guard your heart; remain loyal to the wife of your youth. ¹⁶ “For I hate divorce!” says the Lord, the God of Israel. “To divorce your wife is to overwhelm her with cruelty,” says the Lord of Heaven’s Armies. “So guard your heart; do not be unfaithful to your wife” (Malachi 2:13-15).

Why do you suppose God gave such strict regulations for marriage?  Why did He speak so strongly about divorce and remarriage?  He did this because the marriage covenant between a man and a woman is something quite sacred.  It is to be taken seriously.  I’m not talking about that piece of paper a couple receives from the Clerk of Courts.  I’m talking about what happens when two individuals stand before God and enter into a covenant relationship.  You see, God is the Author of marriage.  He wrote the story back in Genesis 2.  So when a Man and a Woman stand before God, they are, in effect, telling God that they would like to be part of this story.  They want God to recognize them as a married couple.  And in God’s story, marriage is sacred, holy, and for life.  This is why divorce disgusts Him.  It defiles the story.  It takes God’s portrait of marriage and scribbles it with a black crayon.

The Bible gives permission to divorce in a few situations.  Looking back at the text from Matthew 19, we read that Jesus did give a stipulation - unless his wife has been unfaithful.  In this situation, when one spouse breaks the marriage covenant, the other spouse has the right to file for divorce.  Some Christians pursue this right; most, however, choose to follow their Christian responsibility to forgive.  “Seventy times seven,” says Jesus in Matthew 18:22.  Forgiving doesn’t always work.  Sometimes the unfaithful spouse will still leave.  Nevertheless, it is our Christian duty to forgive.  Actually, forgiveness should happen even if the divorce does take place.  It’s the only way to return to a reasonable level of emotional health.

The other situation mentioned in the Bible involves two individuals who were married before they became Christians.  When one of them becomes saved, the couple needs to have a conversation about the marriage.  It will obviously be headed in two directions at that point.  The Apostle Paul helped the Corinthian Church deal with this issue.  He said, “But if the husband or wife who isn’t a believer insists on leaving, let them go. In such cases the Christian husband or wife is no longer bound to the other, for God has called you to live in peace” (1 Corinthians 7:15). If you are living with a spouse who is not a believer, you should read this section of 1 Corinthians.  Paul’s teaching here is quite sound.  However, for the most part, he says to let the unsaved spouse leave.  A household filled with bitterness and strife is certainly unholy.

These are difficult words for many of us.  They are difficult to read and to hear.  Considering what God says about divorce and remarriage, how should a person respond?  How should the Church respond?  Allow me to make two suggestions.

I have counseled a lot of divorced people.  I led divorce recovery groups in my last two congregations.  I have seen a lot of pain.  I have heard terrible stories of what one spouse did to another.  There are two lessons I have learned from my years leading these groups.  One is that most divorced people have been deeply hurt not just by their former spouse, but also by the church as well.  Many people have no idea the circumstances behind the divorce, yet they pass judgment.  This does not mean that divorce is okay, but it does mean that the Church needs to start showing a little grace toward a person who has been hurt emotionally and spiritually.  Most of the people I have counseled agreed that divorce was wrong.  They were already dealing with this guilt.  The Church should be helping them find forgiveness from that guilt, not make them feel even worse.

Another thing I have learned is that there truly are innocent people who have been forced into a divorce.  We certainly would not tell a person who has been mugged that they were guilty of a crime.  The crime was forced upon them.  It is the same with some divorces.  Sometimes a spouse will break the marriage covenant, in most cases, through infidelity.  They were not faithful and cheated on their spouse.  However, the other spouse did remain faithful.  They did not turn their affections toward another person.  And even when the secret affair was revealed, the innocent spouse looked for ways to heal the marriage even though the unfaithful spouse made up their mind to leave.  The unfaithful spouse moved out and moved in with their lover.  The one dealing with the wreckage certainly cannot be held accountable for the divorce.  They did not initiate it, nor did they desire it, yet they must suffer through the trauma.  This person needs love and support, not a huge concrete sign draped around their neck that reads, “DIVORCED!”

Marriage takes work.  It is filled with times of love but should also be filled with moments of forgiveness.  To make a marriage last, both husband and wife will need to learn how to say, “I was wrong.  I am sorry”.  If God had made divorce too easy, then marriage would not be the holy and sacred union it is supposed to be.  This is why God said He hates divorce and why He said remarriage after a divorce is a sin.  He wants us to realize the sacredness of those vows.

I suspect there is one last question on your heart.  What about the man or the woman who remarries after divorce.  Are they living in sin?  Well, it all depends on whether they were guilty of ending their last marriage or not.  Surely someone innocent cannot be held liable.  And yet, even the guilty can find forgiveness.  God has clearly taught us that any sinner can find forgiveness (see Matthew 12:31).  If a person sins, feels guilt and remorse for that sin, and asks the Lord for forgiveness, they will no longer have that sin held against them.  The Father chooses no longer to remember that sin.  This is what justification truly means – just as if I never sinned.  So it seems to me that a person who admitted their guilt and found forgiveness through Christ, they should be able to remarry without any guilt.  That’s what justification is all about – to no longer hold a person’s past against them. 

Once again, let me say that it’s important we know God’s truth about divorce and remarriage, but also important we know the truth about God’s forgiveness as well.  Divorce is an unfortunate incident that takes place in some marriages.  Sometimes both husband and wife are guilty of the divorce.  Sometimes only one spouse is guilty.  Those who are guilty must realize the seriousness of their sin and seek the Lord’s forgiveness.

God has taught us about marriage not to crush us or condemn us, but to show us what holiness looks like.  And when we don’t measure up, we turn to Christ.  We seek His forgiveness.  This applies to each of us who sin, including those whose marriages failed.  Seek His forgiveness, confess to the Lord where you failed, and I promise you, He will forgive this sin and all others – justifying you in the name of Jesus.

Submitting our Sexuality to God - September 20, 2015 sermon

By Pastor Greg

Everybody on earth dies and goes to heaven. God comes and says, "I want the men to make two lines. I want one line for the men who were leaders in their home and another for the men who allowed their wives to boss them around. Also, I want all the women to come with Me." God takes the women away while the men begin to form the two lines.  When He returns, God discovers that there are now two lines of men. The line of the men that were bossed around was 100 miles long while in the line of men who took leadership responsibility, there was only one man.  God got angry and said. "You men should be ashamed of yourselves.  I created you in my image, but you refused to be a leader.  Shame on you for allowing your wife to boss you around like that. Look at the only one of my sons that stood up and made me proud, Learn from him!" Tell them, my son, how did you manage to be the only one in that line?  The man said, "I don't know. My wife told me to stand here.”

I’m sorry.  I had to be honest, brutally honest.  I know we don’t like it, but this is simply the way things are.  I know that God designed marriage and relationships to be holy, but sin has created something different – something far less than God originally intended.  The same can be said about human sexuality.  God created plants, animals, and humans with the ability to reproduce.  This is the meaning of the text “Be fruitful and multiply. Fill the earth and govern it” (Genesis 1:28).  Unfortunately, sin has taken this ability to reproduce and turned it into something dirty and cheap.  Sadly, when we think about human sexuality, we tend to think of what sin has created, not what God has designed.

Human sexuality from a biblical perspective is something natural and beautiful.  In humans, sexuality goes way beyond the bounds of mere physical pleasure.  It connects two persons in a way that nothing else can.  A spiritual and emotional bonding takes place that transcends the physical connection.  However, sin has taken the sexual relationship between humans and turned it into a commodity.  Human sexuality has become so cheap – so conventional – that it is used as a marketing ploy.  I fail to realize why it is necessary to place a nearly naked woman on an ad selling a fishing boat.  It makes no sense to me, but I realize why it is done.  A woman in a string bikini will catch a man’s attention and make them look long and hard at the ad.  Sex sells things; it’s that plain and simple.  This is what sin has done to human sexuality.

Sin has also taken human sexuality and divorced it from marriage.  In God’s original plan, sexuality was something to be expressed within the bounds of marriage.  However, that kind of thinking seems archaic today.  Today many people feel their sexuality is something they can express in any way they see fit and with any willing person.  Many people disregard God’s boundaries for sex and instead plunge headlong down a cliff, driven by sensuality and desire.

Although the Bible does not mention the exact words, “sex before marriage,” the idea is expressed quite clearly in 1 Corinthians 7.  “Now regarding the questions you asked in your letter. Yes, it is good to abstain from sexual relations. ² But because there is so much sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman should have her own husband. ³ The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband’s needs. ⁴ The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife.  ⁵ Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together again so that Satan won’t be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control” (1 Corinthians 7:1-5).

Sex was openly expressed in the City of Corinth.  It was one of the most promiscuous cities in the Roman Empire.  Even within the church, sexual freedom was a big problem.  One man was sleeping with his stepmother (Romans 5:1).  Some within the Corinthian Church didn’t even see this as a problem.  As long as they loved one another, what’s the big deal?  Paul says quite clearly that for a believer to express their sexuality in a godly way, it must be done between a husband and a wife.  He tells the widows and the unmarried that if they cannot control their sexual desires, “they should go ahead and marry. It’s better to marry than to burn with lust” (1 Corinthians 7:9).  He doesn’t say, go out and hook up with someone.  He says, GET MARRIED – a very clear indication that Christians have no business having sex outside of marriage.

Paul has taught us clearly that sex out of wedlock is wrong.  It does not follow God’s ordained model of marriage.  If that is true, then why do so many individuals struggle with keeping themselves holy and pure?  Jesus says that the problem begins in the mind.  “Anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (Matthew 5:28).  We read story after story where good and godly people destroy themselves by having a sexual affair.  We are shocked that it could happen.  However, that affair did not “just” happen.  It began when that person permitted thoughts to take them captive.  They ignored God’s boundaries and instead fed their desires through their thoughts and their imaginations.  The “affair” began when they first started feeding the flesh through their eyes – the things they noticed and watched.  Sexual immorality begins in the mind of a person who disregards God’s boundaries.

“Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body” (1 Corinthians 6:18).  According to Paul, sex outside the boundaries of marriage is a sin against God, against the other person, and against ourselves.  There are physical problems that could develop, and psychological issues that will arise as well.  I could dwell on these, but for now, let’s assume you want to remain sexually pure.  You want to bring your sex life into submission.  How can we keep our hormones and our desires from driving us off a cliff?  What do we do?  It begins by obeying God’s boundaries.

Like a winding mountain road, God has placed “guard rails” around human sexuality not to constrain us, but to protect us.  On the one side is Truth, and on the other is the Spirit.  The one instructs us what “love” truly is, and the other grants us a choice to follow God or follow sin. 

The Spirit is given to each believer who then provides us with a choice.  We can chose to allow the Spirit to control us rather than following our sinful human desires.  “Do not let sin control the way you live; do not give in to sinful desires. ¹³ Do not let any part of your body become an instrument of evil to serve sin. Instead, give yourselves completely to God, for you were dead, but now you have new life. So use your whole body as an instrument to do what is right for the glory of God. ¹⁴ Sin is no longer your master” (Romans 6:12-14).  As a devoted follower of Christ, we make a choice to follow the Lord, not our sinful nature.  Develop your relationship with the Lord, and you will find the Spirit guiding and strengthening you.

The Truth teaches us God’s model of love.  To love according to God’s Truth, we move from selfish desires to selflessness.  Sin has taught us to view love with greedy eyes.  We say, “I love you,” meaning, “I love the way you make me feel.”  Sin has diminished love to be nothing more than a reaction to stimulation.  However, biblical love is an action someone chooses to make.  Biblical love gives, not takes.  When we are guided by biblical love, our sexuality is restrained because we take a moment to consider how our actions might affect the other person.  We consider the other person to be valuable and significant.  We ask ourselves, “How might our ten minutes of passion affect this other person?”  In biblical love, our hearts are fixed on the other person and their relationship with God, not our passions and desires.

These two boundaries grow stronger and stronger when we become submitted to the Lord and obedient to God’s Spirit within us.  When we allow the Holy Spirit to conform us and to transform our minds, He helps us take control of those sexual passions and desires that are motivated by our sinful nature.  However, sometimes we do make mistakes.  Sometimes the flesh is stronger than the Spirit is, and we mess up.  We make sexual mistakes.  What then?  What happens when we express our sexuality outside of God’s boundaries?  The correct thing to do is admit to God that you sinned.  Go to Him and ask for His forgiveness.  You will find that He is quick to offer forgiveness and grace.  John the Apostle assures us that “if anyone does sin, we have an advocate who pleads our case before the Father. He is Jesus Christ, the one who is truly righteous. ² He himself is the sacrifice that atones for our sins” (I John 2:1-2).  So I don’t want you to leave here discouraged.  I want you to leave here knowing these two things.  I want you to know what God has said about the proper expression of our sexuality.  I also want you to know what God has said about Grace.  Strive to live according to that truth, and receive forgiveness when you fail.

Submitted Relationships - September 13, 2015 sermon

By Pastor Greg

Syndicated Columnist Dave Barry once described the difference between Men and Women with a beautiful story about Roger and Elaine.  You can watch the video up top.

Relationships are hard.  There’s no arguing with that.  Men and Women not only look different but also think, feel, and process information differently.  This is because God created Men and Women to be different.  After God had created the Man, He created a Woman to be a suitable helper, not merely be a second human being.

God created Men and Women as two unique individuals on purpose.  God created the Man with unique character traits to fulfill a particular purpose, and He created the Woman with unique character traits to achieve another purpose.  When Men and Women realize this, the marriage relationship works.  When both the Man and the Woman submit to their role ordained by God, relationships are in harmony with God’s original plan.

We will look at that plan in a few minutes, but first I want to remind you that not only has sin destroyed our relationship with God, but it corrupted our relationships with one another as well.  A major part of that corruption is a refusal to submit to the role God has ordained for both Men and Women.  Both Men and Women have rejected the responsibilities given them by God and instead have allowed them to be redefined by sin.  This is why the Apostle Paul reminds Men and Women of their God-ordained roles.  In Ephesians 5, Paul tells us to; submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. ²² For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. ²³ For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. ²⁴ As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything. ²⁵ For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her ²⁶ to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word.* ²⁷ He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. ²⁸ In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. ²⁹ No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. ³⁰ And we are members of his body. ³¹ As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.”* ³² This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. ³³ So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband (Ephesians 5:21-33).

Our fallen, sinful nature has caused humanity to disregard the roles Paul mentions here and instead tries to teach us how to be a Man and how to be a Woman according to Sin’s corrupted view.  Men either dominate women or treat them disrespectfully.  Women treat men like little boys, but then, of course, most men still act like little boys – taking instead of giving.  Women nag and criticize, trying to fix their man, as if he is too incompetent to do this on his own.  Men treat women as some sort of possession or a prize, not as one deserving honor.  Men disregard their responsibility in the home, forcing women to pick up the slack.  It is the man’s responsibility to teach their children about spiritual matters and to nurture their children in spiritual growth, not the woman.  For He established a testimony in Jacob and appointed a law in Israel, which He commanded our fathers That they should teach them to their children, that the generation to come might know, even the children yet to be born (Psalm 78:5-6a).  Also, by ignoring his responsibility to be the Spiritual Leader, Adam permitted Sin to contaminate the entire world. [Did you ever notice where Adam was when Eve was tempted?  He was right there with her - she took from its fruit and ate; and she gave also to her husband with her, and he ate (Genesis 3:6).  Adam stood by and let Eve fight this battle with Satan.  He didn’t have the courage to do this himself.]  Of course, the woman overstepped her bounds, but a real man would have stepped in and stood between Satan and his wife.  The result was a relationship defined by sin.  Man would “control” or “rule” Woman rather than love and comfort her.  Some Bible translations even say that the Woman will now desire to control her husband, which creates tension in any relationship between men and women. Wives become frustrated with their husband, wishing he treated her with more dignity and respect.  Round and round the battle wages on, with neither side truly making any difference at all.

When men disregard the role God ordained, they become confused, directionless, and troubled.  When women ignore their ordained role, they suffer and fight for equality and protection.  Family life is harmed.  Children are hurt.  Why do these things happen?  They happen because men and women are building relationships upon a sinful and selfish nature, not submitting to God’s ordained roles.

The alternative to a marriage suffering from battle wounds is to become men and women submitted to God’s model of marriage.  But see, as soon as I mention submission, you draw a conclusion based upon a corrupt, sinful model of marriage.  Submission does not mean inferiority.   In God’s model of relationships, there are two equals with different functions.  The wife, as the helper, has a nurturing role of care and support.  The husband, as the head, has a leadership role of courage and responsibility.  This is what a biblical model of marriage looks like.  The wife pours admiration, support, companionship, and physical responsiveness into her husband.  In response, he gives her honor and praise.  When the husband pours companionship, security, significance, and emotional responsiveness into his wife, she responds with submission.  This is God’s model for relationships with members of the opposite sex.

Wives, if you want a husband who gives you the attention you desire, the solution is not in nagging him to death, but in submitting to God’s ordained role for a woman.  If you want your husband to change, it begins by first changing yourself.  Stop being a wife that tries to control her husband, but instead be a wife that honors and loves her husband.  Stop being critical and instead be an encourager.  Pray for your husband.  You will find that he will change when he feels loved unconditionally by you. 

  Men, if you are tired of living an empty, frustrated life, submit to God’s ordained role.  Take responsibility in your home.  Men, you have been ordained by God to reject passivity (or indifference), to accept responsibility, to lead courageously, and labor for the things that actually matter.  Why don’t you take the initiative for once?  Tell your wife and your family that they matter by giving them the time and the attention they desire.  Let them see godly faith living in you.  Let your children hear you pray.  While you stand idly by in Spiritual silence, the Devil is luring you family away from God and away from you.  Stop being so timid!  Adam is blamed for allowing his wife to sin (see Romans 5:12).  Is it possible that God will hold fathers and husbands accountable for being spiritual wimps?  It would not surprise me if He did.

In God’s model of marriage, a person receives back what they pour out.  At some point in a marriage, someone must make a decision to stop living according to the sinful image of marriage the world has portrayed.  To keep a marriage from spiraling downward, either the man or the woman must put an end to the battle by submitting to God’s model.  You see, marriage is less about what we get out of the relationship and more about what we pour into the relationship.  In selfishness, we enter a relationship for what it will do for us.  However, in a life submitted to God’s model of marriage, we look for someone who is willing to receive what we long to give.  This would explain why a relationship built solely on sex is doomed to failure – something we will discuss next week.

One Man. One Woman - September 6, 2015 sermon

By Pastor Greg

A couple had recently been arguing (I think it had something to do with men never asking for directions).  Anyway, neither would admit they had done something wrong.  You know the routine; she was always critical and he never listened.  They drove several miles down a country road, not saying a word.  As they passed a barnyard of mules, the wife sarcastically asked, "Relatives of yours?"  "Yep," the husband replied, "In-laws."

If you have been married any length of time, there is a good chance you think I was riding in the back seat of your car.  Actually, just about every couple goes through these trying and difficult situations.  You put two humans together in a relationship and there is bound to be tension and fighting.

I think we sometimes forget that when sin entered this world, it not only affected our relationship with God but our relationships with other people as well.  We do not act in ways originally designed by God.  Our emotions, our wisdom, and even our gut human instinct are guided by our sinful nature.  Paul says that “When [we] follow the desires of [our] sinful nature, the results are very clear: sexual immorality, impurity, lustful pleasures, ²⁰ idolatry, sorcery, hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, dissension, division, ²¹ envy, drunkenness, wild parties, and other sins like these” ^[1] (Galatians 5:19-21).  In other words, we simply cannot be trusted to figure out life on our own. We cannot be trusted to discern what is right and what is true.

When a society fails to understand this, it will make all sorts of decisions about life that are not based upon Truth.  And when a society refuses to consult God’s written standard of right and wrong, that society continues to walk farther away from God by each self-guided decision it makes.  Take, for example, what has happened to Marriage.  Something that God created and ordained has become corrupt and contaminated by opinions and emotions rather than the holy and sacred covenant it is supposed to be.  But, that’s what happens when a society ignores God’s Word and instead makes decisions from a fallen human perspective. 

Marriage and intimacy have been redefined by a society that has ignored God and created a defiled and corrupt image of marriage.  Our society has allowed sin to define relationships, marriage, sex, and dating. Our society has taken a glorious portrait and scribbled it with a black crayon.  No one seems to know anymore what God intended marriage to be, which is why I think we need to examine the Bible and discover what a biblical model of marriage actually looks like.

On that note, let me point out that I am not passing judgment here.  God has something to say which is contrary to what our society is saying.  So if you get angry about what I share, just remember that I am merely showing you what relationships, marriage, sex, and dating should be like when they are not corrupted by Sin.  Every one of us fails to have a perfect relationship or perfect marriage because every one of us is a sinful person.  We are less than perfect, which is why we always need the Blood of Jesus and the Grace of God to forgive us when we do sin.  So, if you are convicted as we study God’s word, ask for forgiveness.  Don’t just get angry.

To understand marriage, we must first realize that there is an enormous difference between biblical marriage and secular marriage.  There is a difference between being married in the eyes of God and married according to the Laws of the State.  What the Supreme Court addressed back in July was marriage according to the Laws of the State.  Our nation decided to grant equal status to same-sex couples.  They did not redefine God’s definition of marriage.  It remains steadfast and unchangeable.  So, in truth, a person could possibly be married according to the Laws of the State but not married in the eyes of God.  To be married in the sight of God is to adhere to His glorious, holy standard – which is what I really want to talk about here.  I’m not going to spend time debating what our Government decided.  Their decision does not change God’s definition.  I am not surprised that a secular government, no longer guided by God’s Truth, would promote a lifestyle outside of God’s holy standard, but I am alarmed when I hear that same song and dance coming from the Church.  This is why I feel the Church needs to examine marriage as it was originally designed by God. 

Marriage is actually something God created a long time ago, a long, long time ago - way back in the beginning.  ¹⁸ Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.” ¹⁹ So the Lord God formed from the ground all the wild animals and all the birds of the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would call them, and the man chose a name for each one. ²⁰ He gave names to all the livestock, all the birds of the sky, and all the wild animals. But still there was no helper just right for him. ²¹ So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep. While the man slept, the Lord God took out one of the man’s ribs and closed up the opening. ²² Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib, and he brought her to the man. ²³ “At last!” the man exclaimed. “This one is bone from my bone, and flesh from my flesh! She will be called ‘woman,’ because she was taken from ‘man.’ ” ²⁴ This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one. ²⁵ Now the man and his wife were both naked, but they felt no shame” ^[2] (Genesis 2:18-25).

The important part of this event is that God was looking for a suitable companion for the Man.  Nothing in all of creation was found, so in His wisdom God created Eve, not Steve.  It’s that plain and simple.  The suitable companion for a Man is a Woman.  That’s how God planned it and designed it, but sin has redefined it.  Also, the woman was not simply some sex partner so this Man and Woman might have children.  I hear people say this so often, and it disgusts me.  They want to turn the woman into some baby-making factory.  How demeaning is that?  God called the Woman a suitable helper, which is the same word used to describe the Holy Spirit in John 14:16.  The Paracletos is one who comes alongside to comfort and guide.

What is notable here is that God, the creator of this cosmos decided what marriage should be like.  In His infinite knowledge and wisdom, He designed, on purpose, a woman to compliment the man.  For those who insist that marriage CAN be between two individuals of the same sex, they are insinuating that God did not know what He was doing.  Actually, homosexual behavior did not begin until after sin corrupted the world.  That’s why marriage between two members of the same sex cannot be one submitted to God’s standard.  It is a marriage defined by sin.  So too is polygamy – having more than one wife.  That practice began after sin corrupted the world.  Lamech was a murderous, sinful man (Genesis 4:19-24).  His behavior is an example of someone following his or her sinful nature, not God’s plan for marriage.  Before Sin entered the world, marriage was something that happened between one man and one woman.  Anything other than that is a marriage defined from a fallen human perspective.  

The relationship between that first man and woman was pure and spotless.  The two were one.  The two were naked and felt no shame.  However, sin corrupted this first marriage.  The curse of sin would cause the man to treat his wife disrespectfully and direct his focus on other things.  His labors would demand much of his time and attention, neglecting the needs of his wife.  The curse of sin would cause the woman to feel abandoned and alone, desiring her husband’s attention (Genesis 3:16-19).  We deal with this same curse as well.  Since we too are sinful people, we must struggle to overcome this curse in our own marriages.  That’s why a marriage built upon our sinful nature will be a marriage filled with selfishness and strife.  However, a marriage that is submitted to God’s standard of holiness will be built upon a different foundation.  Something we will look at next week.

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^[1] Tyndale House Publishers. (2007). Holy Bible: New Living Translation (3rd ed.) (Ga 5:19–21). Carol Stream, IL:

^[2] Tyndale House Publishers. (2007). Holy Bible: New Living Translation (3rd ed.) (Ge 2:18–25). Carol Stream, IL.