Forgive Someone - January 25th, 2015 sermon

By Pastor Greg

Debby punched in her boyfriend's new phone number -- and a woman answered. "Is Mike there?" asked Debby, confused. "Umm, he's in the shower," the woman responded. "Well, please tell him his girlfriend called," Debby said, and hung up. When he didn't return the call, Debby called again. This time a man answered. "This is Mike," he said. "You're not my boyfriend!" exclaimed Debby. "I know," he replied. "That's what I've been trying to tell my wife for the past half-hour."

Picture this husband and wife.  For half an hour there were accusations and denials.  And in the end it all came down to a simple misunderstanding.  No one was in the wrong here, except maybe Debby who didn’t have the correct phone number.

Sometimes people hurt us unintentionally.  A careless word might be spoken or a commitment forgotten.  Sometimes it is simply confusion.  In these cases I remind the individuals of what Paul said to the Colossian Christians.  “Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others” (Colossians 3:13).  Yes, we must forgive when someone offends us, but sometimes we are the one doing the hurting.  Sometimes we are the one who has broken a relationship.  Sometimes our words or our deeds drive a wedge between others.  But Jesus says that when we drive wedge between someone else we also drive a wedge between ourselves and God. 

As Jesus continues to teach His disciples on the mountainside, He changes His focus in this next section.  From Matthew 5:21 and to the end of the chapter, Jesus talks about our relationships with others.  According to God’s laws of conduct toward one another (to love others as we love ourselves), He says that we dare not disregard the feelings of others.  We dare not treat others as worthless trash.  We dare not elevate ourselves above others.  The least we should do is treat them as an equal.  So if we desire a closer walk with God we must first learn to get along with one another.  We must learn to see the value and worth of others.  You see, to God, personal relationships are far more important than personal rights.  To God, our relationships are greater than our hurts, which makes it quite difficult to walk closely with God while being angry or holding onto a grudge.

In this first section, Jesus says that if we desire to walk closely with God, then we will need to do something about our anger.  We need to realize how our angry words, either spoken or written, destroy our relationships with one another.

²¹ “You have heard that our ancestors were told, ‘You must not murder. If you commit murder, you are subject to judgment.’ ²² But I say, if you are even angry with someone, you are subject to judgment! If you call someone an idiot, you are in danger of being brought before the court. And if you curse someone, you are in danger of the fires of hell. ²³ “So if you are presenting a sacrifice at the altar in the Temple and you suddenly remember that someone has something against you, ²⁴ leave your sacrifice there at the altar. Go and be reconciled to that person. Then come and offer your sacrifice to God. ²⁵ When you are on the way to court with your adversary, settle your differences quickly. Otherwise, your accuser may hand you over to the judge, who will hand you over to an officer, and you will be thrown into prison. ²⁶ And if that happens, you surely won’t be free again until you have paid the last penny” (Matthew 5:21-26).

To develop a closer walk with God Jesus says we must forgive someone or, in this case, that we ask for forgiveness from those we have hurt. Jesus commands that we restore what has been broken.  Unfortunately, too many Christians feel they can walk closely with God regardless of how they treat others.  But here Jesus clearly ties the two together.  As we eagerly reach for His hand God will remind us of who we have hurt; of broken relationships and those wounded by our callousness.

The whole point Jesus is making here is that we must hold the feelings of others close to our own heart.  As a Christian, we must become “other” focused.  We must learn to live through the eyes of others.  We must consider the weight of our words.  Do they build up others or do they tear them down?  “Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them”, says Paul in Ephesians 4:29.  And by the way, foul language is not using certain words.  It is saying things in a way that hurts or destroys the person God has been trying to strengthen and comfort.  Don’t miss what Jesus has just said here.  Our attitude toward others either helps or hinders our worship of God and our relationship with God.

Present on that hillside as Jesus taught was a young man named John.  John had a thunderous temper (Mark 3:17).  Disregarding the feelings of others, he fought for a position of honor among the apostles (Mark 10:37).  He wanted to call down fire from heaven when a group of people told them to leave town (Luke 9:54).  Yes, John the Apostle needed to hear the words Jesus spoke on this hillside.  If John was to be a faithful apostle, he needed to change his attitude.  He needed to develop a forgiving and loving heart in order to walk closely with God.

Later in his life, John would write, ⁹ If anyone claims, “I am living in the light,” but hates a Christian brother or sister, that person is still living in darkness. ¹⁰ Anyone who loves another brother or sister is living in the light and does not cause others to stumble. ¹¹ But anyone who hates another brother or sister is still living and walking in darkness. Such a person does not know the way to go, having been blinded by the darkness” (1 John 2:9-11).  Gone is the thunderous temper.  Gone is the disregard for the feelings of others.  Gone is the selfish attitude.  These have been replaced by an attitude of genuine love and concern for those around him. We need to make this change as well.

It occurred to me many years ago that if people can hurt me deeply, then perhaps I have been hurting others as well.  So in my desire to walk closely with God I made a choice to “Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others” (Philippians 2:2-4).  So I pass along to you what I have learned in my walk with God.  I have experienced more meaningful worship and have found a deeper relationship with the Father by learning to see others in a whole new way.  And by the way, that change doesn’t happen on its own.  It is a choice we have to make.