By Pastor Greg
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Two monks on a pilgrimage came to the ford of a river. There they saw a girl dressed in all her finery. Not wanting to spoil her clothes, she stood perplexed; unsure what to do since the river was running high. Without giving it much thought, one of the monks took her on his back, carried her across the water and put her down on dry ground. Then the monks continued on their way. But after an hour the other monk started complaining, "Surely it’s not right to touch a woman; it is against the commandments to even be that close to a women. How could you go against the commandment?" The monk who had carried the girl remarked, "I set her down by the river an hour ago, why are you still carrying her?"
In the story of these two monks, one was living in today while the other lived in the shadow of yesterday; holding on to things from the past and refusing to let them go. In the same way it’s discouraging to meet someone who reminds us of our yesterday rather than rejoice in who we are today. But what if we are the one doing the remembering? What if we are the ones still living in the shadow of yesterday?
This struggle is not new. Even the great evangelist Paul struggled with the things he had done and the things he had said. Even after serving the Lord for years, Paul struggled with the memory of sin. He still struggled with living in the shadowlands; that place between the mountain of Grace before him and the mountain of guilt behind him. (Read Romans 7:15-25).
When we confess our sins, our guilt is lifted by Christ because of His work on Calvary. And for a while we forget what lay in the shadow of yesterday. Nothing compares to the joy found today in God’s Grace. But after a while many Christians turn and look back at yesterday. And it is here in that shadowland between guilt and freedom that every Christian will walk from time to time. In the darkness of that place guilt casts its shadow upon us; guilt of sins long forgiven. And when we walk there we are continually haunted by the memories of our past.
There is the mountain of guilt on the one side, and on the other the mountain of Grace. But so many of us live in the shadowland between the two; knowing the sin has been forgiven, yet haunted by the memory of our sin. And instead of focusing on what we have become, we spend time regretting who we were. From time to time in this shadowy place, guilt creeps back into our hearts for things which we have already been forgiven.
So, even though Paul struggled with this, how do you think he was able to overcome this? Even though the shadow of his past crossed his mind from time to time, why did it not hinder his ability to minister? The answer is found in his proclamation at the end of this chapter. “Wretched man that I am! Who will set me free me free from the body of this death? Thanks be to God – through Jesus Christ our Lord”. By focusing on Jesus, Paul was confidently able to proclaim, “there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” (Romans 8:1). It’s actually pretty clear that although Paul had a past, he focused on the promises of Jesus. He was able to “Forget the past and look forward to what lies ahead” (Philippians 3:13). Paul had learned one very important truth; that even though there was a mountain of sin behind him, Christ had forgiven him. He no longer carried what Christ had taken from him years earlier.
Since Christ no longer condemns us for sins we have laid at His feet, where do you suppose that condemnation comes from? The easy answer is to blame Satan. We blame him for reminding us of who were and what we had done. But I think we need to bear some of that blame as well. Satan does not have the power to convict us of sin. He is not the one who allows dead guilt to come to life. Sure, he reminds us of the words of our mouth or the deeds of our hands. But we are the ones who resurrect the guilt. We are the ones who walk back through the shadowland instead of looking forward and upward to whom Christ is helping us become. We are the ones who relive the guilt Christ had taken from us years ago.
I wish God would purge these things from my memory. And if I understand the Fire of heaven, I suspect one day He will. One day all believers will be free of those memories. But for the time being all of us must live with the memory of our sin. However, I believe we have two choices in what we can do with those memories. We can either live in the shadow of yesterday or proclaim the promises of Christ. Sure, we have a mountain of guilt behind us. But that guilt has been taken from our hands and replaced with the Grace of Christ. The memory remains, sure, but the guilt has been removed. And rather than gaze at the mountain in shame, we can chose to see it as a great triumph by Christ.
You know, when someone happens to remind us of our yesterday (either someone else or ourselves), this becomes a great opportunity. Rather than resurrect guilt, we can point to the mountain and proclaim, “Look at what my Savior was able to overcome!” We can take criticism and condemnation of our past and turn it into praise for today. “Yes, yes” we can shout. “That’s who I was. But isn’t our Savior so amazing that He was able to cover that mountain of sin with a mountain of Grace”? When we embrace the promises of Christ instead of the criticism of others, we can shout with Paul and proclaim, “If God is for us, who can be against us” (Romans 8:31).
The Good News proclaimed by the disciples is that a person who has looked into the depths of their heart and confessed their sin to Jesus is a person whose sin has been forgiven. Christ has promised us this. John reminds us of this. “But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness.” (1 John 1:9). Many Christians know exactly how it feels to walk in the shadow of their sin. So when they meet someone else traveling through those shadow lands, they wrap their arms around the hurting person and encourage them to find forgiveness in Jesus; to lay their guilt at His feet. Sure, there are some who refuse to apply this truth to others. But there are many who forget to apply this to themselves. For some reason many Christians, me included, resurrect memories and guilt of past sins. And we allow those sins to entangle us; to strangle us. Many Christians I know still feel condemned by sins that Jesus has already forgiven. And if Christ were to speak to us right now I’m sure He would say, “I took that sin from you years ago. Why are you still carrying it?”
There are times when the sting of our past affects us in the present. And we feel ashamed for who we were. But, as the Christian group Tenth Avenue North asks, “Don’t you know who you are? You are more than the choices that you've made, you are more than the sum of your past mistakes, you are more than the problems you create; you've been remade. You’ve been remade”.
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