By Pastor Greg
As ham sandwiches go, it was
perfection. A thick slab of ham, fresh
bun, extra sharp cheddar cheese, and plenty of expensive light brown gourmet
mustard. Gently the father carried it to
the picnic table, holding it with two hands.
But before he could take that first savory bite, his wife was suddenly
at his side. “Here, hold the baby while
I get my sandwich”, she said. He
balanced the child between his left elbow and shoulder and was reaching again
for the ham sandwich when he noticed a streak of mustard on his fingers. Loving mustard, and having no napkins, the
father licked it off. It was NOT
mustard. No man ever put a baby down
faster. Sprinting back to the kitchen
with his tongue protruding, he proceeded to polish his tongue with a washcloth
in each hand. Later his wife said, “Now
you know why they call that mustard ‘Poupon.”
So, who does the father yell at? Who is to blame? The mother?
The baby? The manufacturer of the
mustard? Or is dad the one to
blame? Yes, I know it is a difficult
possibility to accept, but it might just be the father’s fault.
And while I’m on the subject,
dads, is there anything else we need to confess? Is there anything else that just might be our
fault? Well, I really hate to depress
you but yes, there just might be one other thing we need to confess. I think we father’s, as a whole, need to
confess to God that we have not been the man He intended us to be. And our society is suffering because of this.
As we look at the moral decay in
our society, who is to blame for the decades of decay? Whose fault is it that godliness is on the
decline? Is it possible that we men have
contributed to the godless condition of our society? And how should we men react if we discover
that it’s not the government who destroyed morality but we did? What if we are the ones to blame for Sunday
morning soccer games and not the coach?
Are we man enough to do something about it? Do we have the courage to change?
As we look at the moral decay
all around us, is there any way our society can be restored to its former
standard? And by moral decay I mean the
lying, cheating, slanderous, selfish way people live today. There is little regard for others. Many make no time for God, let alone respect
Him. Many do not respect anyone in
authority. Some have no respect for
life. Most live as if there is no
standard of right and wrong. And when
they are caught doing wrong, it’s always someone else’s fault. What can we do to change this?
Well, the first thing we need to
keep in mind is that this immorality is not something new. This way of living has been around for a
long, long time. Throughout the ages,
God has been calling His people to reject the ways of the world and instead
live in a way that honors Him. As His
people were about to enter the Promised Land, God told them “Do not live
according to the customs of the people I am driving out before you. It is
because they do these shameful things that I detest them” (Leviticus
20:23). And in order to show them how
they were to live, He gave them a Book.
He also told the men, the fathers, that they were to be the spiritual
leaders in their home. God told fathers
to, “not provoke
your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with
the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord” (Ephesians
6:4). In Deuteronomy 6:6-7 He says,” And you must commit
yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today. Repeat
them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and
when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up”. If we father’s do this; if we “Direct [our] children onto the right path, [then]
when they are
older, they will not leave it” (Proverbs 22:6).
So when God told the nation of
Israel to not live like the rest of the world, He gave them a Book to follow
and assigned the responsibility of teaching God’s commands to the fathers. Unfortunately
it’s obvious the fathers did not take this responsibility seriously. Eventually the people of God became just as
bad as the rest of the world. Even
worse! The very people God told to not
act like the world ended up being “more evil than the pagan nations that the Lord had destroyed
when the people of Israel entered the land” (2 Kings 21:9).
You and I may not be the nation
of Israel, but God still desires the same for you and me. He desires that we not live according to the customs of the people
of this world. Christ’s passionate plea
is that His followers be in the world but not of the world (John 17:15). And the Father, in His great mercy, has not
only given us a Book to follow but His Spirit to guide us. As a believer in Jesus we have been given the
Holy Spirit so we might win the victory over the world. “Greater is He who is in you than he who is in
the world” (1 John 4:4).
Think about it! God has provided
us a Book so that we might know what He desires from us. And He has given us His Spirit so we might
follow His commands and live in a way that honors Him. So why does it seem the world is influencing
the Church rather than the Church influencing the world? I suspect it’s because we have not taken
God’s commands seriously. I suspect it’s
because we men are not doing what God has commanded. It’s not someone else’s fault, it’s our
fault. We’ve become lazy in one very
important area.
A lot of Christian father’s do a
fine job supporting their children in their activities. They do a good job providing for their
children’s basic needs. But see, that’s
where most father’s stop. Because when
it comes to spiritual things, most fathers are seldom involved. They’re more worried about soccer practice
than with church activities. By our own
example we tell our children what is important.
We fathers have been just too preoccupied with other areas of life and have
delegated our child’s Spiritual instruction to our wives or to a Sunday School
teacher while we’re off chasing a Titleist with a 7 iron. And then we wonder why our children don’t
come to church? We have forgotten that
morality is more often caught by our children than taught. Our children don’t learn as much from what we
say as by what we do. So if we wonder
why our child has no respect for authority, maybe we need to look at our own
attitudes and actions. If our child has
no desire to attend church, maybe we should look at the example we’ve given
them from our own lives.
Father’s we need to become men
of the Book. We need to be filled with
God’s Spirit, but we also need to know what God’s Word says. We need to take our role as Spiritual Leader
seriously. We need to take an active
role in our children’s spiritual lives.
We need to have moral conversations with our children before they face a
moral dilemma. We need to show them that
we live according to God’s standards.
Our children need to see “right” lived out through us so our conduct
stands in stark contrast to the “wrong” of this world.
So I guess if we dads want to
lament the condition of our society and mourn over just how bad things are, we
better be ready to accept the blame.
We’ve been lazy and have not taken our responsibility seriously. The change we want to see in our society
starts with us.
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