By Pastor Greg
A couple's garage was piled high with duck decoys, fishing rods, hunting boots, waders and outdoor gear of all kinds. Staring at the mess, the wife sighed, "I hope I die first so I don't have to get rid of all this." "Look on the bright side," the husband said, "If I go first, you can put an ad in the paper. When all the men come by to check out the gear, you can pick out a replacement for me." Looking at the pile the wife said, "No, any guy who would want all this stuff would not be my type."
Ouch. This is one of those couples that you meet from time to time. There is obviously no love in the relationship. And you wonder what they saw in one another in the first place. If there is any love at all it must be a fake. Love does not tear down. Love does not belittle. Love considers the feelings of others. At least authentic love is like this. But too often the world presents a love that is counterfeit; a poor copy of the real thing; a hypocritical love that pretends to be about the other person but is really self-focused and self-centered. Sadly, even some Christians have bought into the world’s version of love and rejected God’s standard of love.
As the apostle Paul spoke about being transformed, he not only called his readers to be transformed in the way they loved God, but also in the way they loved one another (Read Romans 12:9-21).
Paul illuminates what genuine love looks like in this section; the kind of love seen in the person who has been transformed. As Christians we must remember that our relationship with other people is just as important to God as our relationship with Him. Most of the Ten Commandments speak about our relationship with others. When asked which of the commandments was the greatest, Jesus responded by saying, “And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength. The second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ No other commandment is greater than these” (Mark 12:30-31). And Paul says that our love is to be genuine toward fellow believers (verses 9-16) and toward the people of this world (verses 17-21). To really love someone is to be transformed into a person who sees others in this way.
Paul, in his great theological discourse known as Romans, elevates authentic love to equal importance with our authentic relationship with God. “Therefore” says Paul at the beginning of this chapter. “And so”, in light of all that God has done for us, a believer should give themselves as a living sacrifice. As Sons of the Father we are to let no unwholesome word proceed from our mouth (compare Ephesians 4:29). Our conduct toward other people, be they fellow Christians or our enemies, is so important in God’s eyes that we can even grieve the Holy Spirit by the way we treat one another (Ephesians 4:30). Therefore, “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you” (Ephesians 4:31-32). “Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful. Let the message about Christ, in all its richness, fill your lives. Teach and counsel each other with all the wisdom he gives. Sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs to God with thankful hearts. And whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through him to God the Father” (Colossians 3:12-17).
There is a strong call in this section of Romans to be kind, considerate, and patient with fellow believers; something seldom seen nowadays. What Christians today have forgotten is that by becoming a believer we are to be transformed. We are to forfeit our freedom to behave like the rest of the world. As authentic Christians who possess an authentic love, we no longer have the freedom to criticize, slander, lie, or speak a foul word to or about any another person. We lost the freedom to criticize another believer behind their back. We have no rights or privileges to speak slanderously about someone or to someone. We lost that freedom when we called Jesus Lord. At least we should have lost this freedom. This is what should happen to the Christian who has allowed the Lord to transform them.
Sometimes it seems that we Christians take too lightly the Lord's command to love one another. “By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another” (John 13:35). This is the one single thing that separates a Christian from the rest of the world. Non-Christians feed the hungry, clothe the naked, care for the sick, work for peace, give to charities, and care for the environment. So a Christian cannot point to these deeds as evidence of our faith, for those without faith do these as well. But the one single thing that stands a believer apart from the world is the humble, loving way a believer treats those who hurt him, those who are against him, those who have wronged him, and those who are his enemies. A believer is easily identified by a peaceful, forgiving spirit: one that keeps no record of wrongs and that makes allowances for other people's mistakes, and that understands people will have a bad day from time to time.
You can certainly tell when a husband and wife are not getting along by the way they treat one another, what they say about one another, and what they say to one another. The same can be said about the Church. What do you think this community might say about us as they observe the way we treat one another, or listen to what we say about one another? Do you think the people in this community might see us as hypocrites? Or do they see that we possess genuine love?
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